He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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