I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
