Me. At least after what I've been through.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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