at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
