Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
