So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
