I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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