What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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