worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
