i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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