Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
