Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize