**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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