i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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