i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think I sprained my soul last night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
