I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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