two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
