perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
