I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize