Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
