i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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