im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
