i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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