Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
