I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
