its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
