I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
