North Korea, Best Korea!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Couch. On fire.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
