i just wanna soil my oats bro
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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