hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
