Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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