im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
