I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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