get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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