So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
