I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
