I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
