the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
