I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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