I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am mentally ready for anal.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
