Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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