You're my little dorito
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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