You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
bring money and cleavage
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
