Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It was confusing and full of hummus
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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