I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize