i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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