You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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