Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
