I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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