you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize