Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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