Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize