go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wish my penis had a tongue
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
