I CAN MOONWALK!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize