Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Can I color on your dick again?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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