it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
