my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Alive.
So much puke
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
