yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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