I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
