i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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