sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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