well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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