Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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