I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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