i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
